Crustader

Confessions Of A Sandwich Sleuth

Eashaan Yadav, AGS Gurugram, XI (IBDP)

Hey there, hungry reader! Now, you might just see me as a sandwich, but I’m so much more than that. I’m the slayer of the Lunchbox, the master of the Picnic, and the saviour of Snack Time. But today, I’m donning a new hat - that of a detective. Greetings, I am the Sandwich Sleuth - Whitney in the real world - ready to solve all mysteries one sandwich at a time. Trust me; it’s not all fun and mayo. Here’s my life revolved with bread, cheese…and justice.

The case of missing pickles
All began in 1914 at a New York deli. The air was filled with the aroma of fresh bread, sizzling bacon, and dreams. My first big case was the Pickle Heist. There had been a theft; our dozen deli sandwich was missing its famous signature pickle. But don’t worry - I solved the case. As it turns out, it was due to a pigeon with an unusual penchant for pickles.

A revolutionary invention
Now, you’ve probably heard the old tale of John Montagu, the 4th Earl of Sandwich, who ordered meat between two slices of bread, so that he could eat with one hand while playing cards with the other in 1762. Boom - humble sandwich hit history books and forever changed the world of consumption. Fast-forward to today, and sandwiches have evolved - from fancy folded-over parterres to giant 5000 pound record-breakers in Iran. Legendary, right?

Sandwiches: Fancy or fast?
People are taking pictures and citing me in their interviews as if I walked around for a minute or two and lived a whole life. The next? I am a posh folded-over parterre of prosciutto, arugula, truffle, and mayo in a café where people drool over $5 lattes. And this is just the US. The world celebrates me in many forms, like Croque Monsieur in France, Panini in Italy, and Vada Pav in India. In any case, I am in the picture. Flexible. Delicious. Ready for action. By the way, Elvis Presley went as far as Denver to eat what he called Fool’s Gold Loaf. What’s in it? A loaf of bread cut from the centre and filled with peanut butter, jelly, and a pound of bacon. Others may consider it to be lavish; I prefer to term it as being an inspiration.

Are burritos sandwiches?
Now, it’s important to set the record straight. Burritos, tacos, and quesadillas are not sandwiches. In Massachusetts, a court declared that a sandwich must come with two pieces of bread. I mean, I get it. They are delicious, but just like relatives that bring themselves over to all the family gathering every single time. I find them interesting as a topic, but in this particular club, they don’t belong.

So, next time you unwrap a sandwich, remember: It’s not just two pieces of bread that identifies me. I’m history. I’m adventure. I’m... delicious. Now go out there, take a bite and be alert - you never know when a sandwich may come in handy. Bon appétit!

Visual vocabulary

Decoding Your Classroom With Classic Emojis

Bulbul Verma , AIS Gur 46, Alumna

Welcome to the most expressive classroom from this side of the digital divide. This isn’t an average classroom filled with blank stares and rustling of papers, but a vibrant, pulsating ecosystem of digital emotion. Well, you’ve guessed it right! In this classroom each student is encapsulated by a singular carefully chosen emoji. A spiral-eyed chaotic emoji face displays the most probable reaction to this scenario! So, forget roll calls, attendance can be taken by emojis, now!

 The teacher pleaser: Butter could be the best emoji for this fellow student. Perhaps, gifting him a loaf of bread could be the best decision of your life! A 24x7 smiling face with a crow’s feet eyes is a fool-proof alert!
 
The night owl: This is the perfect emoji for that one guy who’s constantly yawning or sleepy. His favourite leisure spots are usually the infirmary or the washroom.
 
Back benchers: Heads hidden behind thick books, desks loaded with potato chips, and ears that long to hear the bell ring - this emoji perfectly describe these hovering students.
 
Disguised topper: Remember the one mate who’s always cribbing about how unprepared he is for the test? Red flag people! Other than acing all tests, he’s a great histrion too!
 
Substitution announcer: The one to throw a party for getting two substitutions a day! This fellow is an apparent substitution monitor who also has a flair for public speaking!
 
Clown of the class: This one is probably the most fun of all! Brain-filled with dad jokes, dead puns, and broken humour, this one has the absolute right to interrupt the teacher and insert his one-liners every now and then!
 
Monitor of the class: A hundred percent teachers’ pet, but inspite of being a monitor, this person has no right to authority (the irony). A blue badge and a monitor tag are all that he owns. But let’s talk about his so-called position another time!