Chaos on wheels

The Unofficial Handbook Of Train Travel Chaos

Saumya, AIS Noida, XI I

Who doesn’t love to travel? While most of you might enjoy road trips and a few elites opt for the skies, I, for one, can’t get enough of trains. There’s just something about the chaos: the loud chatter, the shaky network, the occasional hygiene horror (Aaaah! Where’s the soap?). It’s all oddly thrilling! Why? Because every train ride comes with characters — the kind that leave you with stories (and mild emotional damage). From chasing moving trains to accidentally boarding the wrong coach, I’ve seen it all. And now, you lucky rookies have been chosen to carry on the legacy. So, as any seasoned traveller would say — let’s begin with who to avoid.

The ‘Chew-baccas’
We have all met that one kid who insists on eating his chips twenty-four hours a day, being noisy enough to raise the dead. Now I’m all for the ‘awws’ and ‘ahhs’ as he parades around with his Crax chips, it’s a societal obligation. But let’s face it — this isn’t a Karan Johar movie, and he’s definitely not the cute kid from Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham.
Carriage confessions
There are some uncles and aunties who have either seen too much of life or never gone outside their hometown before. They seem to be bored enough to willingly distribute their biodata among strangers like they’re asking to be robbed. And if the journey is long enough, you will get to know everything from their childhood home to what their mama ke ladke ke bacche are doing nowadays! Every. Single. Thing.

Snora the explorers
Never trust the cute-looking dadi ji carrying bags full of candies and funny stories. Sure, she looks harmless… but don’t be fooled. She could be a kidnapper. And if not that, well… she probably snores. Not the gentle kind you can ignore, or even the annoying kind you learn to live with. No, her snores are loud enough to summon people from neighbouring coaches, only for them to freeze mid-step; because who wants to be the villain who wakes up a sweet old lady? Her age already works in her favour.

The Janices
Oh. My. God! There they are! With their latest Samsung phones and constant vlogging these ladies may really make you nauseous. Alright, I guess you can take it when they scream and cry at every small inconvenience… like buffering videos. But do they seriously expect that the staff will increase the temperature of the entire train just because they don’t feel like taking a grey blanket?

The ticket tricksters
Who here grew up loving Tom and Jerry? Well, my friend, you’re in luck. Watching the TT’s futile attempts to catch these ticketless tricksters is pure nostalgia in motion. It all begins with the bait — an empty berth — and soon unravels into a full-blown drama, complete with a spicy conversation filled with elaborate lies and pointless questions, followed by a breathless chase through the coaches, and, of course, a dramatic escape. But take it from me — as entertaining as it is, you definitely don’t want to get caught in between the crossfire.

So there you have it - a guide to the chaos, comedy, and characters of travelling by train. Pack light, keep your wits about you, and for the love of all things peaceful… do not forget to carry earplugs. Because no matter how cautious you are, the stories will find you.

Self-love calling

Album: Love Yourself: Answer
Artist: BTS
Released on: August 24, 2018
Genre: Pop, R&B

Synopsis: ‘Answer’ is the second part of the ‘Love Yourself’ trilogy. This album links the key songs in each album under this series into a single theme. It is about loving yourself, the experiences of growing up, and the thrill of adolescence. The songs are written like a novel with an introduction, rising action, twists, and conclusion. The story begins when one falls in love and goes through moments of heartbreak, loss, and slander. It isn’t until the narrator looks within that he truly understands the meaning of love. The underlying message of the trilogy is that it’s necessary to accept our flaws before we expect it from someone else.
Why is it worth listening: This album tells the deeply personal story of the band’s complex journey with fame, delivering the universal message of unity and healing. With powerful themes of acceptance and spiritual awakening, the album champions love above all. Packed with chart-topping hits and musical brilliance, it is another unforgettable masterpiece from the band.
My favourite song: ‘Magic Shop’ is my personal favourite because it is dedicated to the fans. The song is a metaphor for a magic shop which supplies happiness to its listeners.
Rating: 4.5/5
Review by: Chitralekha Achinta Borah
AIS Vas 6, Alumna
(Chitralekha is pursuing pursuing BA (Hons) Mathematics from Gargi College, DU.)