Surviving Indian traffc

Less Of Rules And More Of An Improvisational Dance Of Vehicles

Varnika Pradhan, XI D &
Adhya Arora, XII F, AIS Saket

Welcome to the world of Indian traffic and roads. A word of caution: always expect the unexpected, so buckle up! (or don’t, because who does that here anyway?)
Here, driving isn’t just a means of transportation - it’s a test of wit, reflexes, and well a little luck. It’s a live-action game show on wheels, where every driver, pedestrian, and stray animal plays a part. But of course, times have changed. Where you used to spot a cow, you are now more likely to spot a luxury car and most likely someone filming a reel in front of it. Now, onto the fabled ‘traffic rules’. They exist, somewhere in the dusty archives of the Ministry of Transportation.

Our mother tongue: honking
India is a diverse land, where a person’s language changes every 50km. But we’ll let you in on a secret, the language that binds us all together is the language of honking. Don’t waste time on the road and have a conversation with your fellow drivers right then and there! You can use the simple short honks, dragged-out honks, sarcastic honks, and our personal favourite- the aggressive ‘Side Hat Jao!!’musical honk because why not scare every pedestrian and stray dog on the road?

Modern-day hide and seek
Every driver knows exactly which places, which red lights, and which turns have speed cameras. For them they’re more like unwelcome paparazzi, waiting to snap an incriminating photo. Does the red light mean stop? More like, slow down, look both ways and if there’s no traffic cop in sight, floor it! But ah ha, there is a traffic cop in the next turn and of course, we act nonchalant and whistle our way on.

To buckle or not to buckle
Ah, the seatbelts, what seatbelt? They are not required! In any case, nobody wears them! Instead of seeing it as a safety precaution, many see it as a hindrance to their independence. Additionally, we Indians have discovered a method to trick the police: we simply put on seatbelts over our heads, and tada! We’re done. And if you get stopped by the police for not wearing a seatbelt, just flash them your most charming smile and say “Oh sorry sir!! Kaafi jaldi mai thi toh dekha nahi. Agli baar se nahi hoga sir, promise!” (It kind of works you know.)

Staying in lane: a suggestion
Driving in lanes in India is a mere suggestion, not a rule. People here change lanes in a split second to avoid jams or to get ahead of everyone else (it’s NOT a race), almost like in a game of musical chairs. People are always like “Oh! Yeh wali lane le leti hu, nahi yeh wali, arey woh wali lane lekar jaldi pahunch jaungi!!” Here lanes are a mythical concept. And we shouldn’t forget our geniuses, who miraculously create lanes out of pavements. It seems like when god closes all lanes, he opens a….pavement?

This was our desi guide to navigating the chaos of Indian roads. We hope one day all of us learn to wear our seatbelts, obey the speed limit, quit switching lanes, magically creating lanes out of pavements for no reason at all, and resist the urge to unnecessarily honk.