Mission Improbable

School Picnic? It’s More Like A Covert Operation In Chaos

Pearl Sharma, AIS Mayur Vihar, X A

Two innocent-sounding words that send parents into panic mode and teachers into tactical formations: School Picnic. While outsiders think it’s just a fun day out, cadets (aka students) know the truth. It’s not a trip; it’s an operation – a top-secret, high-stakes mission of chaos, comedy, and survival.

Phase 1: Permission slip protocol
Operation begins at home: securing the golden ticket – the permission slip. But first, one must pass through the Parental Clearance Bureau. Cue the holy trinity of tactics: “I swear I’ll get 95% in maths!” “If you don’t let me go, I’ll be emotionally shattered!” Strategic silence till they sign just to stop you from sulking. Finally, clearance granted. Mission Go.

Phase 2: Reporting for duty
With exactly 1.7 hours of sleep, you wake up at an ungodly hour. Officer Dad scans the checklist like it’s a rocket launch, while Officer Mom is on parantha patrol. The dogs are asleep, the birds are asleep, but you are definitely not.

Phase 3: Tiffin inspection tactics
The rules: no chips, no chocolates, no joy. But cadets are built different. They hide Subway sandwiches in pencil boxes and bubblegum disguised as erasers. Instructors use their spidey senses to find every last crumb. Still, hope lives on for the next snack smuggle.

Phase 4: Roll call rumble
The roll call begins. Instructors scream, cadets howl. “Roll No. 21?” “Present, ma’am!” croaks a voice from the chattering crowd. As always, one cadet is MIA. Chaos ensues. Tension builds. And then, “I was in the washroom, ma’am.” Classic.

Phase 5: The bus ride chaos
Backbenchers act like they’re on a comedy show, middle-seaters become wannabe DJs, and front-benchers sit in mournful silence, rethinking their life choices. Somewhere in the middle, the snack gobbler throws up exactly half a cheese sandwich thanks to a well-timed speed bump.
Phase 6: Ground-level operation
Upon arrival, the bus doors open and kids explode out like confetti. One actually gets stung by a bee and runs in circles, screaming. Everyone races to claim the ‘Secret Snack Smuggling Spot’, where black market deals for chips begin immediately.

Phase 7: Return protocol
Cadets drag themselves back, sunburnt, sand-coated, and sticky with melted ice cream. They’re laughing now, but they know the Home General (Mom) will cancel dessert privileges after seeing the state of their uniforms. The once-lively bus now snores in unison.

Final report
The mission concludes back at HQ – bed. Operation Picnic may have left battle scars (bee stings, busted bags, and snacks), but it forged lifelong comrades and created memories of snack heists, and full-blown fun. Because in the end, the best part of school isn’t the syllabus – it’s the shenanigans.