Villains Anonymous

Because Even Supervillains Need A Weekly Meeting… And A Reality Check

Tapasya Aggarwal, AIS Gurugram 46, XI G

Gotham has seen many strange gatherings - clown riots, rooftop monologues, billionaires dressed as bats - but nothing tops the latest (supposedly secret) meeting of the world’s most infamous villains. Every Thursday night, they assemble at an old, crumbling cinema. Yes, that cinema. The one where Batman’s parents died. Coincidence? Absolutely not. The Joker chose it for ‘the vibes’ and hasn’t stopped laughing since. Everyone else hates him for it.
The meeting - formerly called The Dark Gathering (after a heated debate over whether the old name was tacky) - began with a literal bang. Something exploded. Again. At this point, Gotham’s real estate market has given up entirely. You can’t go five minutes without a building blowing up like Robin’s chances of a peaceful childhood. “So,” Joker announced, clapping his hands, “first order of business: Voldemort has started a petition declaring himself the greatest supervillain of all time.” Joker grinned. “You mean the guy who took ‘He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’ a bit too seriously? Voldy, my boy, you couldn’t even kill a baby. Even Odysseus managed that.” “It was a magic baby, you muggle!” Voldemort snapped.
Cruella, already irritated, turned to Joker. “What’s your latest scheme?” Before he could answer, she sneered, “Let me guess - you tried to make Batman laugh. Froze him, electrocuted him, traumatised him… and still no smile?” Joker muttered, “I am not Mr Freeze,” which, in Gotham, is considered a formal apology.
Suddenly, three figures burst in, striking a dramatic R formation. “Team Rocket is here!” Joker sighed. “Great. These fools again. Security!” “No, wait! We’re real villains!” they protested. “Impostors,” said Dr Doofenshmirtz casually, “Couldn’t be me.”
Before he could launch into his tragic backstory, Team Rocket accused him of being unable to identify a platypus without a hat. The argument escalated quickly.
Elsewhere, Cruella eyed Darth Vader. “Darling, that suit is not a fashion statement. Even cosplayers know that.” Then, Scar attempted to restore order. “Let’s remember why we’re here. We’re the best at what we do.”
“Failing spectacularly and blaming others?” Joker interrupted. Right on cue, Harley Quinn burst in. “Puddin’! Emergency! Batsy’s having a meeting with Catwoman as we speak!”
“Meeting dismissed!” Joker declared. “Cheer up, everyone, we’re about to ruin a tête-à-tête.”
The villains left with bruised egos, renewed motivation, and several new world-ending ideas. The Gotham Police Force never stops these meetings. Why?
Because at the end of the day, it all boils down to these little things like mocking bad fashion, failed plans, and having each other’s morally questionable company, that truly brings villains together.
Or maybe the cops are just really bad at their jobs.

An old Indian favourite

Series: Sarabhai vs Sarabhai
Directed by: Deven Bhojani
Released on: Season 1: November 1, 2004;
Season 2: May 15, 2017
Starring: Satish Shah, Ratna Pathak Shah, Sumeet Raghavan, Rupali Ganguly, Rajesh Kumar
Genre: Sitcom, Family Comedy, Satire

Synopsis: This sitcom tastefully showcases the clash of the rich and the middle class within a family. The Sarabhais are an elite, rich, English-speaking, art-loving, Gujarati family. Maya Sarabhai runs the family with an iron grip, impeccable style, and devastating sarcasm. Her husband Indravadan is a lazy, witty man-child who mainly torments Maya. Their elder son Sahil is a dentist who marries Monisha - a sweet, middle-class, Delhi girl who mispronounces many English words, burns toast, and causes everyday chaos. Their younger son, Rosesh, is an aspiring poet whose poetry no one wants to listen to. Every episode is basically a domestic warfare where Maya is trying to ‘fix’ Monisha. While Monisha is trying to survive, Indravadan is roasting everyone, and Rosesh is reciting poetry that defies the laws of literature. It’s a series of 25-minute episodes filled to the brim with family politics and savage one-liners.
Why is it worth watching: The writing is timeless with effortless humour. The jokes are original and not based on trending memes, so they still land, even in 2026. Each character in the series is equipped with their own individuality. The relatable family chaos between the rich and middle-class, saas-bahu drama, along with sibling rivalry told with class leaves the viewer wanting for more. Besides, Ratna Pathak Shah and Satish Shah’s delivery and comic timing are a masterclass in comedy. Even a small eye-roll gets a laugh. All in all, it’s 70 episodes of timeless satire with every scene carrying a punchline.
Iconic dialogue: “Beta, Rosesh... poetry band karo, zindagi shuru karo.”
Rating: 
Reviewed By: Ananya Agarwal
AIS Jagdishpur, XII C