A Hot Mess

There is always one spectacularly disorganised person in every class, the one who forgets their assignments, manages to leak their fountain pen, and somehow staples their finger. They are the epitome of clumsiness, a cross between Neville Longbottom and Seamus Finnigan. That is what you call a blithering hot mess. Kainaat Arif, AIS VYC Lko, alumna, hops in on the POV of one such person.

Beep-beep! Your peaceful slumber is interrupted by the most annoying sound known to man - your alarm clock. “06:15 hrs,” it says. “Ugh, five more minutes,’’ you whine. You press the snooze button and no such luck, it’s 06:20 hrs. Again, the alarm goes off and you hit the snooze button and crash! Blinking, the next thing you see is that the clock is on the floor and of course not in one piece. The mental image of the look on your mother’s face is enough to send you jolting upright. You scamper out of bed and rush to the washroom hoping not to have any conversation with your mother on this. You examine yourself in the mirror and find a figure staring back at you. You sigh and go on with your morning rituals.
You start to dress, but alas! You cannot find your socks! You groan, as you throw item after item out of your cupboard in search: belt from a school you no longer attend, a pair of leggings that don’t fit, all go flying across the room. After five whole minutes of scavenging through piles of clothes and a mess of a room, you find a pair of old socks, two sizes too small, staring back at you. Satisfied you think, “This will have to do”. You come down from your room, into the dining area and gulp down a glass of chocolate milk, spilling most of it. You scurry down the hallway, grab your bag, and sit in the car, hastily greeting driver bhaiya and begging him to take the shortcut.
At 7:25, you arrive at school. With only five minutes to spare, you dash up the stairs, greeting the teachers briskly on your way up. Your heart pounding as you put down your bag. You smile at your amazing group of friends - your only solace, who remain your allies through punishment, surprise tests, and assignments. But just as you decide to sit down you find yourself on the floor, drenched in water and covered in blobs of grey that look strangely like papier mache. You curse yourself for not being more careful, but what can you do? You are a hot mess.
(Kainaat is currently pursuing BA (Hons) Pol Sc from Lady Shri Ram College, DU.)

Hilarious escapades

Movie: Mortdecai 
Directed by: David Koepp 
Released on: January 23, 2015
Starring: Johnny Depp, Paul Bettany, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ewan McGregor 
Genre: Action, comedy

Synopsis: Mortdecai is a quirky action-comedy film, portraying Lord Charlie Mortdecai as an unscrupulous art dealer and a swindler. Charlie Mortdecai is a charismatic British nobleman, and an art dealer who often falls short on funds to sustain his opulent lifestyle, so he agrees to aid his college friend and MI5 officer, Alistair Maitland retrieve a stolen Goya painting. However, Charlie isn’t the only one seeking the painting; a revolutionary and an American heir also has his eyes on it, for the artwork is said to hold the secret code to a bank account filled with Nazi gold. The plot revolves around Mortdecai’s chaotic quest to recover the stolen Goya painting involving art thefts, murders, betrayals, and comedic mishaps, making it a complete entertainer.
Why is it watch-worthy: This humorous movie presents an eccentric take on the caper subgenre. The film delivers a unique blend of British humour, absurd situations, and stylish direction. The portrayals of the characters lend a whimsical narrative to the story. Every part, particularly Johnny Depp’s rendition of the titular character, Charlie Mortdecai, is charmingly peculiar. While the humour is polarising, relying heavily on running gags, it offers moments of light-hearted fun for those seeking escapism rather than depth. 
Iconic dialogue: “Oh, how I long for the rain and indifference of Europe.”
Rating: 4.5/5
Review by: Rida Parveen
AIS Noida, XII C