Served with love

Let’s Look At Some Of The Highly Creative Ways To Retaliate

Ananya Gupta, AIS MV, X B

Let’s be honest, who has not had their head burn with anger when your sibling ate that piece of chocolate you saved, or your best friend uploaded a bad picture of yours on social media? You really have this urge to vent your anger, but being offensive isn’t really the name of the game. Here’s how you can get back without causing any hurt.

“I hope you step on a Lego.”
Okay, ouch. That might hurt more than you may think.

“I wish you a lifetime of spoilers.”
Suits. Season finale. You are willing to execute anybody who tries to give even a second of the episode away. You are scrolling through your Instagram feed, waiting for the buffer to end, and…
“I hope you plug your phone and forget to switch the charger on.”
We are all well versed with that sinking feeling of waking up that comes with seeing the most indispensable part of our lives – our phone, taking its last breath or, maybe, already dead.
 
“I hope your WiFi stops working, mid conversation.”
You are having the best conversation of your life and you’re completely into it. As you come up with an absolutely genius joke for a response, your WiFi stops working. They know you’ve seen their reply, blue ticks don’t lie.

“I hope you get a reply with a ‘K’.”
Hits you right in the feels, doesn’t it? “I hope you smudge your eyeliner immediately after you’re done with your makeup.”
A happy Saturday, you’re not too late for the party, chosen the perfect outfit. Eyeliner on the left eye has been winged to perfection, you’re trying to do the right when your phone pings and you’re paralysed for a second. You look at the mirror and see the new creased black line on that perfect face. Now isn’t that a great day?

“I hope, while stalking someone on Instagram you accidently like their 74-week old picture.”
Your heart skips a beat and you unlike it with all your might. Time for renunciation and go to the mountains.
“I hope you get an elaichi in your biryani.”
Imagine, you are at your favourite restaurant, and after a week of craving, you are waiting for your biryani to be served. Finally, it arrives, and you cannot wait to take your first blissful bite. As your taste buds are absorbing the flavour, utter betrayal hits you. They put elaichi in your biryani. If that is not offensive, what is?

No matter how many cakes your sibling eats or how many annoying things your BFF does, the truth is that you will love them no matter what. So it is always better to offer creative, and of course, harmless comebacks rather than outrageous or harsh statements in course of a fight. After all, nobody wants to hurt their loved ones, right?

Never tell a writer

Mugdha Jain, AIS Gur 46, XI F

Never ever tell a writer
That her writings don’t make sense
They don’t need any explanation
The words reflect a heart so dense

Never ever tell a writer
That her poetry doesn’t rhyme
She was running out of words
Wanting a deeper sense to chime

Never ever tell a writer
That ‘dasl’ is not a word
She is creating new ones
For her feelings to be inferred

Never ever tell a writer
That she should write pieces
That are pleasing to the heart
She might still be living in the past

Never ever tell a writer
To explain her complicated verse
They are the cherry on top
Of an art much diverse

Never ever tell a writer
That she writes like someone else
It’s her authenticity that pleases her
And not a copy of another self

Never ever tell a writer
To read her stuff out aloud
She’ll try and try
But will end up blown out

Browse. Pay. Buy!

Say goodbye to strenuous shopping in malls as online shopping takes over! Get clicking now...

Vritika Chandwani, AIS Vas 1, X A

Driving to the mall, checking out store after store, carrying heavy bags...too tiring, right? Well, haven’t you tried online shopping, yet? Just browse, pay and buy! With so many online stores and portals offering a huge variety of products, one is literally spoilt for choice! Myntra, Jabong, Flipkart, Amazon...each of them offers bundles of goods at jaw-dropping prices.
Spoilt for choice: Online shopping portals allow you to filter your choice to your chosen price range, colour code, brand and  style. You name it and they have it. With so many varieties, these portals expose you to the trends that people from every corner of the world follow.
Shop in a snap: Online shopping is as quick and easy as 1, 2, 3. All you need to do is log on to your favourite website, select your product and place your order. And you’re done. With most sites offering 30-day exchange and replacement guarantees, it’s easy to exchange too, just in case the product is not per your liking. 
Compare wise: These websites let you compare the prices of your favourite brands without having to hop from shop to shop. It’s very easy to conduct price comparisons online. This gives you the freedom to determine which online store offers the best prices.
Happy earth, happy you: What’s more, online shopping is eco friendly too! You don’t need to waste petrol on driving or waste your energy in waiting in long queues, carrying heavy bags and finding a space to park your car or pay parking charges! “I prefer online shopping because I don’t need to visit the retailers individually. Doing that involves burning fuel, staying calm in the perpetual bumper to bumper traffic and finally, searching for parking space!” Veena Mishra, coordinator, AIS Vasundhara 1, says.
Shop from home: You don’t need to worry about how you’re dressed and you can shop till you drop just sitting under your quilt, sipping a hot cup of coffee. “I enjoy shopping online because I can do so in the comfort and privacy of my home. I can shop in my pyjamas and no one knows the difference,” shares Ansh Singh, a student of AIS Vas 1.
Earn while you shop: One of the best parts about online shopping is you can earn reward points with every purchase you make and redeem those points on your next purchase. With regular sales and festive discounts, you can earn while you shop and grab super exciting deals.
It’s on sale: That is not all. Offers and schemes introduced by the sites are the real reasons why people are attracted so much to online shopping. The special festive sales further draw the customers to these sites. Besides, online shopping is entirely stress-free and hassle-free since there is no physical work involved such as moving around in crowded malls or queueing up outside of changing rooms etc.
This article was published in
GT edition dated January 19, 2015.
Vritika is pursuing her B.Tech from Bharati Vidyapeeth College of Engineering, Pune. She is currently in her second year of graduation.