Good ol’ days

Glorious Adventures Of A Lifetime

Vini Shrivastava, AIS Vasundhara 1, XII B

Welcome, class of 2019, to a lecture  that will teach you all about the class of 1980. Wait, you already know everything. After all, your parents never stop talking about those ‘Back in my day’ stories where they tell you all about the adventures of their time. Pick up your books and let’s start.

Chapter 1: A walk to remember
You might have luxurious cars or AC buses to drop you off to school, but the only mode of transportation your parents had was “20 kilometer paidal chal kar jaana.” So, the next time they see you lying leisurely on the sofa with your eyes glued to Netflix, be ready to hear all about the travel adventures that put King Arthur to shame.

Chapter 2: 127 hours
That is exactly the amount of time they spent studying in one day, because when they said “Hum toh poore din padhte the,” they weren’t exaggerating. So, if you feel the need to complain about your busy schedule, they will be standing right there to remind you how they had it worse and still survived.

Chapter 3: The social network
Your parents spent their entire teenage years without knowing what Snapchat and Instagram were, and hence, you should too. But now that you do, you have to hear about it, but also help them with Facebook when you have a minute.

Chapter 4: Back to the future
As kids, your parents were allowed to steal fruit from trees, bunk tuitions, roam freely in jungles but that is where the fun stops. If you plan to do the same, be prepared to hear a ten-hour-long lecture about repercussions. But then again, it might be because they don’t want you to commit the same mistakes, or may be because they know they can play the ultimate parent card. “Tumhare bhale ke liye hi bol rahe hai,” you know!
And that’s it for today’s class, folks. I’ll see you next week for a lecture on ‘What parents say v/s what they really mean.’

LOL and order?

Radhika Goel, AIS Vasundhara 1, XI

So, we have about 3.3 crore cases pending in our courts as of now and countless more in the world. We are sure the judicial system is working real hard to make sure that justice is served. But despite its busy upkeeps, sometimes the court invests (or is rather forced to invest) its time and money into some rather exceptional cases which, to be honest, evade the understanding of a common man. Here is a list of some of ‘such exceptions’ that believe it or not, actually did take the court and the logic by storm.

No change, no fame: Nikhil Jain from India filed a petition against Emami for using unfair trade practices. He even sued the company and its product ‘Fair and Handsome’ for not giving him the results as expected. Result? Emami was asked by the District Forum, New Delhi, to pay up to INR 15 lakhs to the petitioner. Now, that’s quite a ‘Fair and handsome’ amount.
College or ‘LOL’ege: 27-year old Trina Thompson slapped a case on her alma mater, Monroe College, due to her own inability to find a job after a futile 3-month lookout. She demanded that the $70,000 she spent on her course fee be returned to her. The court *thankfully* dismissed the case as no college can ever guarantee that.

But work is boring man!: In 2016, Frenchman Frederic Desnard filed a case against his former employer for 360,000 Euros after using the phrases ‘descent into hell’ and ‘nightmare’ to describe his boredom levels at work. The defendant was French perfumer Interparfums where Desnard was an employee for eight years before being forced out of his job by increased levels of boredom.

Make them bucks count: A 29-page complaint was filed by customer Stacey Pincus who claimed that the cold drinks are almost half ice and Starbucks misrepresents their fluid amount. I mean we all love a good amount of caffeine but dragging the café to court for not giving you that? Really?
 
Keeping up with reality: A woman sued KFC, the fast food chain, for exaggerated use of imagery. Tubs overflowing with big juicy chicken pieces in ads, but half-filled tubs with not that appealing portions in reality. Disappointed? Definitely. A $20 tub that the company was sued for, ended up being a $20 million profit for the woman.

A ‘marvel’ous saga

Testimonials Of How Marvel Cinematic Universe Manages To Break My Heart

Saloni Saxena, AIS Vasundhara 1, XII A

Year 2008. The hottest movie of the year was released. While reading Marvel comics occupied majority of my childhood, seeing Iron Man come alive on screen blew my mind away. And that, dear Marvel, is how you helped me establish my first on-screen crush. I was extremely excited to meet The Incredible Hulk, Captain America and Thor. You kept me waiting for three whole years, but I was patient with you. And you, made my wait worth it. When I thought it wasn’t possible, you made me fall more and more in love with you. And that, dear Marvel, is how I vowed to always be committed to you.
I saw the Avengers: first day, first show and had my mind blown. I watched the movie at least seven times, and I got same thrills each time. When in Iron Man 3, Tony ended up blowing all his suits, I cried for two hours straight and my friends thought I was crazy. When your characters cried, I cried, and when they laughed, so did I. But you did something which turned my life around; in a bad sense.
After Age of Ultron, you broke my peers into parts. I argued for about two weeks with my friends about how Iron Man was right in his place, and it was not his fault that the Avengers broke. Finally, we had to agree to disagree. But even now, whenever the subject comes up, we always end up fighting.
But I guess you realised that I needed a break, so you introduced me to Doctor Strange and Spiderman. They were so good that I could not wait until the release date to meet Black Panther. Ant Man got me even antsier. I remember that for one whole week before its release, I was unable to focus on anything else due to excitement. And as ever, you met up to my expectations. I was so happy to have you in my life dear Marvel, you were always there for me.
But then you went ahead and released Infinity War and killed Loki in the first ten minutes. And then as if that wasn’t enough, you killed Heimdall and Gamora, Vision and T’Challa, Doctor Strange and Winter Soldier, Scarlet Witch and Nick Fury and Maria Hill and God knows how many more. I sat through that with a numb mind and quivering lips, with my heart breaking into another million pieces, every time another one of my favourite characters  died. And to top it all off, you took away Spidey, and you took him brutally. I felt as if that movie ended our special bond - one that had been there for as long as I could remember.
But I could not stay mad at you for long, dear Marvel. Ultimately I forgave you. How could I not? You were always there for me. Now I spend my day and nights waiting for Endgame, hoping that you will give me back my heroes. Call me a hypocrite, but I also wish you do no not release that movie, because then it’ll all be over. What will I do then, dear Marvel, how will I survive with just your memories? But at the end I know that you will always live in my heart forever.