Is school really cool?

Imagine A School Like It Is Shown In Movies...Now, Back To Reality!

Siddhi Mohanty, AIS Vasundhara 6, XII

Tomorrow is my first day of high school. I was up all night thinking about how it is going to be. I am pretty nervous. I am socially challenged and have high chances of ending up a loner. I reach the school and see the huge open gates. I walk inside and notice the lush green gardens on both the sides with marble statues and water fountains! This place has an eerie familiarity to it, as if I have seen this in a movie before. I check again to see if I am in the right place. After walking the longest stretch for a path, I see a series of expensive cars; it was as if I am in a showroom in South Delhi and not in a local high school. I reach the hallway and see a group of girls: a clique strolling through the hallways in skirts and long coats, every hair strand in place with their Gucci backpacks and Versace glares.
Did I miss something? Are the Mean Girls in my school now? And I am thinking aren’t they supposed to roam in sweatpants and whine about how much homework they got to do?
I see my timetable and my first class is theatre. Which school starts their day off with drama? I slide in my seat and the teacher asks us to audition for the annual day at the end of the year. Guess what? All of them act like they were born in a theatre room, all professional dancers/actors. I feel so embarrassed about my two left feet that I leave the class almost immediately.
I wanted to try for the basketball team, so I head towards the sports arena. And what do I see? Huge courts, an Olympic-sized swimming pool, locker rooms: is this school even in India? The cheerleaders are practicing in their candy-like outfits with the basketball players, and the players actually dance better than the cheerleaders. Wait, what? Troy Bolton, what are you doing here?
We finally have a break. I get to the canteen for lunch, and a group of friends suddenly break into a dance, all with perfectly synchronized dance steps and outfits. Apparently the song was about true friendship. ‘Stick to the status quo’ anyone?
And then I find about the school trip. My expectations don’t go higher than Agra or Shimla. But when the announcement said ‘Switzerland,’ I almost fainted. I swear to God I heard it. My brain could not really process what was going on. Aren’t we supposed to study and prepare for college? Will Shanaya also be there? Are we also attending a big fat wedding?
While going to the classroom, I pass a group of people already stressing about the next week’s party. Nobody’s worrying about the science project and the four essays that are due this week and worth 40% of our grade. The bell finally rang and I am relieved I could go home. Just as I am heading to the door I heard a beep beep. Then I opened my eyes. I am still in bed. It is 6:30 and I still have to go to school. But this time, the real one.

Honest exam time conversations

This Boards, Say No To ‘Gharelu Nuske’

Pankhuri Joshi, AIS Noida, Alumna

It’s the day before your exams, and while you would utilise this time by revising your syllabus, your relatives and well-wishers queue up with unconditional affirmation and unsolicited advice. All this while you hide your disdain at the illogical ‘nuske’ under the layers of fake polite laughter and thank you’s. Only if you could be honest with them, this is how the conversation would go.

Mumbai wali mausi: Sweet dahi cheeni equals sweet results.
That’s not how it works mausi. While I’m sure scientists have spent years on finding the secret behind this concoction; the only way it helps you is giving you energy to write the exams. I’ll drink Glucon-D instead.

Bengaluru wali bua: Give your phone to your mom and get more marks in return.
So, it doesn’t matter if I’m clarifying doubts via DMs or getting photos of sample papers on WhatsApp? I’ll just say goodbye to my Meritnation and Khan Academy accounts because apparently, the internet is only for wasting time. Although, a recent survey from McGraw-Hill Education says 81% kids have improved their grades with use of technology. Where did I get this from? The internet! Oh, so it must be wrong?

Chandigarh wali chachi: Early to bed, early to rise makes you healthy, wealthy and wise.
It also makes all night owls die inside. Many studies have proven that students can benefit from the quiet atmosphere of the night, ensuring higher concentration. People with a routine that sees them more active at night will find that studying at night comes more naturally to them. But obviously, everyone has to wake up at six in the morning to study. Duh!

Tirupati wale tauji: Enunciate for quality education.
But I like reading faster, with higher concentration, better understanding and skipping the words I don’t need. Who cares for quality understanding, it’s more important to spend hours focusing on the pronunciation rather than the actual content. Don’t you know?

Pointless professions

Agree Or Not, Some Jobs Need A Facelift

Shivang Dua, AIS Mayur Vihar, XI A

At some point in our lives, we all have had our moments of introspection. Haven’t there been times when we feel that our very own existence is pointless? Or so our folks around say! Nonetheless, here’s a compilation of professions, in an endeavour to alleviate you from this hopelessness.

• A platform such as Olympics is meant for none but people who are skilled at which sport they participate in. But, what could be the possible reason to have lifeguards to save the swimmers who know the A-Z of swimming? Let’s just say they are preparing for the worst.
  
• nThe next in the list is the guard employed for the lifts in malls. Their presence is only valid when they have to escort people up and down in the lift. Maybe, the lift wouldn’t operate without its companion liftman.
  
• “Order! Order!” Imagine a judge seated at the raised platform. “My lord”, begins the advocate clothed in her black robe and the people anticipating the judgment. A perfect courtroom scenario? No. Not until the Darban begins with a “judge sahib tashrif laa rahe hain.”  Such importance, you see.
  
• Do you remember the last time you saw a Republic Day parade? Did you notice that the VIPs don’t come out of their cars unless it is opened by someone from the outside? There are people assigned to this strenuous task of opening car doors during big events. Because, why not!
  
• We see advertisements everywhere for brand promotions. However, this is not enough for certain brands because they have people who hold placards outside the store they are promoting. Art of advertising, I must say!
  
• Last is the secret man sitting far behind in the cinema theatre. His job is to click the movie to play. Well, this is not that pointless, because who would not love boasting around about having watched all the latest movies.

The above list was but a synopsis of the pointlessness that the world is filled with. Now we know what to do when we are  hoarded with taunts and ridicules by our families and relatives, time and again reminding us about how useless we are.