Peak of pointlessness

How To Quit Your Job And Enter The Guinness History Of Tomfoolery And Buffoonery

Sai Anwita Tippireddy
AIS Gurugram 43, XI C

Some people chase world peace. Others chase 25 chihuahuas in a tutu parade - all for the Guinness Book. This guide unveils the silly but essential steps that go behind the ‘achievements’ that are proudly flaunted as world records. So, grab your stopwatch and questionable life choices, because here is the game plan:

Step 1: Quit your job
Jobs give you money, stability, and respect. None of which you’ll need when your life goal is cutting a kiwi in under five seconds or spinning a basketball on your finger for four hours straight. Productivity? That is so overrated. You’re entering a lifestyle of pure chaos, where the only indicator of a good performance is ‘how long you can pogo stick while blindfolded’.

Step 2: Pick a funky feat
Forget boring records like the tallest man or the longest hair. That market is saturated. The real winners are the people stacking 1,500 rubber ducks in their living room or wearing 300 socks on one foot. The trick? Go so bizarre that nobody else has the mental energy to even try. Instant monopoly.

Step 3: Train like Olympians
If you want to break the record for balancing 37 spoons on your face, then you’d better start practising until your nose feels like stainless steel. Feel like holding the record for the ‘most magic tricks underwater’? Get ready to grow gills. To break a record, you need to break your back and more. 

Step 4: Prepare evidence
Guinness wants evidence, so you will have to document your feat. That means cameras, timers, witnesses, and possibly one very bored cousin roped in to count every single paperclip in your ‘Largest Paperclip Chain’ attempt. You will have to convince your friends to quit their jobs and record you (make sure their phones have good quality cameras).

Step 5: APPLY!
This is what you worked for. After all, you didn’t eat so many taane from gharwale and risked mild arthritis for nothing. Go to their website and apply. Now you just have to patiently wait anywhere from 5 to 1,092 working days. On the bright side, if they happen to reject you, you can immediately apply for ‘Longest Wait Time for an Email Reply’.

Step 6: Victory lap (or not)
If, by some miracle, you do get approved, then you just found something for your LinkedIn profile. You might not attract big corporate companies, but who cares when you are the only person in your social circle who can stack 12 M&Ms vertically? If you get rejected, just brag about it. Afterall, Guinness World Records isn’t about money or fame. It’s about finding your one useless superpower and convincing the world it absolutely matters.

A decade of dedication

Sanjana Chauhan, a student of Class XII F, Amity International School Noida, debuted with her highly anticipated Kuchipudi recital, ‘Rangapravesham,’ at a jam-packed Kamani Auditorium on September 3, 2025. ‘Rangapravesham,’ which translates to ‘ascending to the stage’ in Sanskrit, is a full-length dance performance which marks the transition of a disciple from a student to a dancer.
The evening began with the ceremonial lighting of the lamp in the presence of eminent dignitaries, including honourable MP Dr Mahesh Sharma.
The gathering was blessed by the inspiring presence of Founder President, Dr Ashok K. Chauhan, and Chairperson, Amity Group of Schools & RBEF, Dr (Mrs.) Amita Chauhan, who in their addresses emphasised the importance of nurturing Indian classical art forms and instilling cultural values among younger generation.
Sanjana, who has been learning Kuchipudi for the past ten years at Nritya Tarangini under the tutelage of Padma Bhushan awardees Dr Raja Reddy, Dr Radha Reddy and Dr Kaushalya Reddy, captivated the audience with saraswati vandana and the dynamic Dashavtar, depicting the ten incarnations of Lord Vishnu.
A soulful Sufi presentation, Chhap Tilak, followed, blending devotion with artistry and leaving the audience deeply moved. The highlight of the evening was the spellbinding Tarangam, a quintessential Kuchipudi piece where Sanjana performed intricate rhythm patterns on a brass plate with effortless command.
The evening concluded with resounding applause, making the ‘Rangpravesham’ not just a milestone in Sanjana’s journey but also a proud moment for Amity International School, Noida - a reaffirmation of Amity’s commitment to holistic education.
“Dance, for me, is a meditation: a language that connects me to my inner self, helps me to look inwards and become a version of myself,” said 16-year-old Sanjana, who started her endeavour with dance at a tender age of six.   
The proud parents, Dr Atul Chauhan, Chancellor, Amity University & President, RBEF, and Pooja Chauhan, Chairperson, Amity Humanity Foundation, presented the vote of thanks, expressing their gratitude to the gurus - the Reddys - for taking the dance form Kuchipudi on the global stage.