In bits and pieces

Unanswered Questions Of Who Is Doing The Least With Their Life

 Mudit Aggarwal, XII A & Pranjal Jain, XI F, AIS MV

(**The following article may have feeble attempts at humour but the jobs mentioned are all 100% real**)

“On this episode of ‘Who Is Doing The Least With Their Life?’, we will finally find the answer. Our first contestant is Mr. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. So, Mr. Prince, what do you do?” “Well, mostly I just sit and watch TV. Netflix employs part-time ‘taggers’ who watch unreleased stuff that will be available in the future, describing those using tags. I started off with $25,000/year, but now I am up to $220,250/year. Cool, right? Annoyance to relatives: 8/10 (kaafi zyada TV dekhta hai).

“For our next contestant, allow me to introduce Ms. Alice from the Wonderland. So, Ms. Alice, what do you do?”
“I wasn’t good at being an apprentice to Lord Ascot, so when I saw the ad by the travel company TUI for ‘Professional Slacker’, I knew it was my true calling. Now, I lounge at exotic destinations and do whatever I want. All I need to do is pretend I am having a good time so that actual customers at the travel agency can be shown a livelier destination and will hire the agency. Oh! I also get paid $41,000/year.
Annoyance to relatives: 3/10 (world trip, waah, kya baat hai, beta!)
“Our next contestants are Phineas & Ferb. What are you two upto this summer?”
“Once upon a time, I used to know what we were going to do that day, but not anymore. Then LEGO offered us $37,500/year to build large scale models of LEGO sets to amaze people. We immediately agreed, obviously!”
Annoyance to relatives: 1/10 (kabhi iske sculptures dikhte kyun nahi?)

“Next up, we have Mr Batman, So, Mr Man, what do you do?”
“When I am not fighting crime, I play at soon-to-be-opened water parks, checking if these rides are safe for others. The job pays me $27,000/year.”
Annoyance to relatives: 11/10 (din bhar khelta hai!)

“Our last contestant is Joey Tribbiani. So, Mr Tribbiani, what do you do?”
“I don’t really have a constant job, but I just go wherever there is a random medical study going on and they need human guinea pigs. Granted, some of the drugs are in developmental phases, but I make enough money to comfortably get by, and I am happy with that.”
Annoyance to relatives: 0/10 (hospital mei job? Doctor hoga).

“And that’s it for today’s episode, folks. Pick up your phone and vote for whosoever you think is wasting his or her life at a job much better than yours. Call 54545 now. Voting lines open till next millennium only.”

Foreign feelings

For When English Is Just Not Enough

Aryaman Jain, AIS Mayur Vihar, XII G

The giant dictionaries of the English language still fail to sum up all the feelings we have ever felt, which is why, we had to find a refuge in other languages.

Forelsket
This Norwegian word describes the feeling of having an intense love or crush. It indicates happiness created by the hormones that create natural intoxication. Well, yes, because just saying ‘You’re in love’ is obviously too mainstream. 

Greng-Jai
As an adjective, it defines a person who is considerate, unobtrusive, and is one step ahead to help people around him or her. Because just saying ‘you are nice’ is not enough.
Pena Ajena
Like Trump being elected, nobody expected that there would be a word encapsulating what you feel when your friends make fun of you in public. ‘Traitor, traitor,’ your mind screams as you silently suffer through the embarrassment.

Saudade
Like forgetting your headphones in the metro, this Portuguese word refers to the grief felt over something which is never to be found again.
Shemomedjamo
Georgians knew how to eat too much and describe it, too. Explaining the feeling of being too full but still not stopping, the word takes ‘eating your heart out’ to another level.

Torschlusspanik
‘Age is just a number!’ Well, certainly not for Germans as they created a word to describe the panic felt when time is running out and the clock is moving too fast. Kal ho na ho just got a whole new meaning.

Yuputka
Walking in the woods sound fine until the sun sets and the horror starts. Having roots in Ulwa, this word describes the feeling of something crawling on your skin. “I just came to have a good time, and honestly, I feel so Yuputka right now,” I yell as I run away.

When I was young…

The Ultimate Tale of ‘Back In My Day’

Vrinda Sethi, AIS Mayur Vihar, IX C

“Grandpa, hurry up,” yelled my grandson, Ravi. With his bag full to the brim and hands full of extra notebooks, I felt bad for the kid. Not just him, but for his entire generation. They have everything at the tip of their fingers and yet their lives are so cluttered and confused.
As I dropped him off at school, the nostalgia set on me. It’s been 40 years since I was a student, and with the first glance itself, I could notice the stark difference. Today’s children have such lush lives – either their parents dropping them off to schools in luxury cars or AC buses. Their school offers state-of-the-art facilities, and more importantly, 24*7 electricity and a safe cemented building. Kids these days have everything they want in the palms of their hand.
The biggest difference, I notice between my time and now is discipline. We were taught to follow a set routine, but my grandson does not agree with this idea. He sleeps only when he’s had enough of Netflix and of course those endless YouTube videos.
As I stroll through the corridors, for which you ought to have a visitor’s pass now, I notice the difference in classrooms. The chalkboards have been replaced with white boards, lectures with smart classes, the books in the library now collect dust and the computer lab witnesses students in queues, waiting to use the systems. I remember we were horrified of our teacher and always finished our assignments on time (handwritten, mind you!) Ravi, on the other hand, has to take print outs and still misses every deadline. Is the system making our children inefficient?
What can I say? Every generation has its perks and there is no perfect way of living the student life. The most important thing is to have fun, learn and make memories that will last a lifetime. Maybe, I don’t understand how he learns anything by just watching videos, but maybe he does. After he is all grown up, he’ll reminisce about his school days, just as I do today.