The fame GAME

A Step By Step Guide To Achieve The Spotlight You Always Wanted

Rishika Gupta, AIS Saket, IX B

Sometimes, watching videos hoarded with likes and comments have us wishing to be the center of that sort of attraction. But not everyone has the skills to become an online sensation. That is why we have decided to help you. Say hello to this brand-new and amazing week-long guide for those aspirants who have been waiting for a chance to step into the limelight. T&C Apply.

Monday: Create an Instagram profile. Plan an aesthetic for your posts and make sure to use filters and, most importantly, ‘FaceTune’ your pictures, enough to transform your features to perfection because the internet will not love you in your true self. Duh!

Tuesday: Post something amusing on Twitter. Struggling to find something funny? Feel free to view stand up comedy videos for some inspiration.
Homework: View popular memes and take notes. (Hello, friends, chai pee lo wali aunty should be the first on the list).

Wednesday: Time to test your level of creativity. Decide a location for the shoot day with enough space but a large crowd to be potential spectators to your idiocy. This way, you get an audience and free publicity. Do something completely stupid and let the world watch you. Approach an Insta star to gain views like wildfire.

Thursday:  Today we shall exercise your vocal chords (not really!). Scribble down some irrelevant lyrics and go to the bathroom for the perfect echo. Utilise the gift of Autotune to make yourself sound like Beyoncé. Club it with your video and upload it on all your social media accounts. This might require some next-level skills, but if Dhinchak Pooja can pull it off, so can you!

Friday: This is the last door to your fame- the promotion day. Create a few fake profiles for online promotion. Just 15 on every single social media platform would suffice. Don’t make it too obvious like “go follow @youlldoitcozurdumb”. Instead embrace your inner Indian aunty and make it sound like “OMG! Did you see what @myrealprofile did? They are amazing! You should definitely check them out!”

Saturday: This is it. The D-day. All that smart work has paid off because your video is #2 trending on YouTube, because, of course, you cannot beat the feud between PewDiePie and T-series. Don’t get too excited with your 15 minutes of fame. It’s time that you begin brainstorming your next video. 
Note:  Avoid anything that involves something intelligent or relevant.

Sunday: Wake up anticipating a million likes on the video. Open the site and sit there in disbelief as the new cat videos have taken over the internet. Sorry to say, but nothing can match a fluffy cat doing the electro shuffle. Well, better luck next time!

In the dark

Horror Mode: Switched On, As Lights Turn Off

Anvi Mahajan, AIS PV, X E

You think you are safe and sound until the time comes for you to get into bed. The very click of the switch engulfs you in the tenebrous depths of your room. It’s ironic how we see the most dreadful things in the dark. Our minds don’t require the ‘form of energy which helps in the sensation of sight’ to spot ghosts and poltergeists beneath our beds. It requires an unmatchable level of inanity to be scared of things that don’t exist. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t help it!

The invisible man
Every single night, a sudden thud makes you sit up straight as you clench your fists and hold onto your bed-sheet. The shady shadow of the same lanky, distorted man advances and inches closer until you frantically close your eyes and you shove yourself under the comforting layers of your blanket. Every morning it occurs to you that it was the shadow cast by your couch, but the shadow man still petrifies you, doesn’t it?
The dripping fear
It’s past midnight when you suddenly hear the sound of footsteps trudging forward, eerily. Your heart beats faster with every passing second. You cannot help but let out a gasp, as your eyes wander in search of this unknown entity. If you are wide awake, you might also begin to hear hushed conversations and malicious laughs. It compels you to question your consciousness, until you draw upon the conclusion that it’s just a lost, eccentric spirit spiralling in the hallway. It’s only when you see the plumber fixing your washroom’s tap do you realise, how similar leaking taps and uncanny footsteps sound.

The time to be horrified
It’s almost every other day that we find ourselves awake at odd times. But your biggest mistake is when you succumb to the urge of knowing what the time is. Because if its 3 a.m., the conversation of Erin Burner and Father Richard (from ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose’) reminds you of the devil’s hour. You are coerced to believe that everything, from the flutter of the notebook pages to the flicker of your phone’s light, from the stridulating crickets outside the window to the chiming bells, is a paranormal activity leading to your downfall. It is only when you wake up next morning that you realise all is well and vow to never watch horror movies again.

The final curtain
Just when you begin to acclimatise yourself to the eerie silence, this one leaves you unnerved. The cold gushing wind enters clandestinely through the smallest crevice or creek in your room. The curtains beside your bed rise and leap as does the intensity of your fear. It’s just the wind, but what’s the point of watching Conjuring and The Exorcist if we don’t envisage peculiar apparitions veiled under the drapes? Minutes later, the wind stops blowing and peace is restored, along with your sanity.

PS: The writer considers all these shadows, footsteps and apparitions as senseless. Yet, she is found biting nails under the blanket when things start playing in the dark.